February 2024
Funny thing about loving and being loved.
If we are to be so lucky to be loved, it might be good to consider from time to time that, we are loved in the way that our lover knows how to love… not loved in the way we think is best.
There is a whole Book; a Bible history, from creation into eternity, to teach us that we are first loved by the divine lover. But still we are slow to learn. We must experience it for ourselves, in our own time, in our own flesh. And still, when love becomes incarnate we misunderstand.
It seems, if it were up to us, we would make the loving and being loved like a perfect fit. But it is seldom, if ever, so…and perhaps only in our imagination. Often, it is more like “opposites attract”, East meets West; and the lover loves according to their best abilities not according to their beloved’s designs.
If we are lucky enough to be loved, we do not dictate the terms of the loving. It is grace indeed, if we can say “Amen, let it be” to our lovers’ sincere desire to fill us with what they have to give, not an expectation to be filled or completed according to our own designs. Really, being loved may be something very different than what we imagine love to be.I am reminded of the conversation between the Rabbit and the Skin Horse in the Velveteen Rabbit.
“When you are loved for a long, long time you become real”.
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” Rabbit asked, “Or, bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept…
